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Monthly Archives: January 2013

Isma’ani Open Mic Night brings Live Entertainment to Kuwait!

Finally, Kuwait has a venue for live entertainment!

Ecoute Moi! Listen to me!

Isma’ani, Arabic for “Listen to me”, will be a monthly Friday night series open to all types of artists: comedians, musicians, storytellers, singers, poets, spoken word artists, and performance artists.

The goal is to provide a venue in which talented artists living/working in Kuwait can showcase themselves and network with other artists.

15 performers (me included, as a first-time stand-up comedian, come and laugh with/at me!) will each be given a 5 minute time slot.

Location: Argeela Bar (Salem al Mubarak, Amar Plaza Salmiya)

Directions: Keep AUK parking lot on your right and on Salem al Mubarak Street you will see a building with a sign that says ‘DJ Spikes‘ on your left. That is Amar Plaza**

Showtime: 7-9pm

In order to attend you must register yourself on the guest list (link)

Feel free to invite your friends!

Because this is a free event and the place will be packed, admittance will be on a first come, first serve basis. So make sure you are on time!

Creative Genius or Lazy Designer? Advertising in Kuwait

advertising in Kuwait

You be the judge

The thing is, I am not quite sure the translation is in Arabic, the letters are, but the words for “One well established company in Kuwait” and “Contact number” are … incoherent. To me.

Anyhoo, how would you classify this type of advertising?

My Love Affair with Zainab

Karachi, the city of lights and also surprisingly as I would soon discover, love.

It all happened so fast. From the first time I saw her I was entranced, captivated by her siren song. I knew I had to see her again, and again, and again.

I knew it was a stupid idea to venture to her alone in the potentially dangerous streets, but I did not care, I had to do it. I anticipated an attack from every corner

I would sit at work mesmerized with thoughts of our previous encounters, eagerly anticipating the cessation of the business day at the strike of 6PM to be reunited with her, to explore her.

I could not think. I could not eat. All I could think of was when I would see her again, and the gift’s she would present me.

And they were amazing gifts.

Behold our rendezvous points, and more:

love affair post

love affair post (1)

love affair post (2)

love affair post (3)

love affair post (4)

love affair post (6)

love affair post (5)

love affair post (7)

my mortified look at being within her fur shop

my mortified look at being within her fur shop

love affair post (9)

Wait till you hear the price

love affair post (8)

You will have this same dude’s expression! (after hearing their prices)

love affair post (11)

a few more samples

a pair of shades and i'd be a Pimp Named Slick Back!

a pair of shades and i’d be a Pimp Named Slick Back!

all I'm missing is a top hat, a gold tooth...

all I’m missing is a top hat, a gold tooth…

I Love You Zainab!

I Love You Zainab!

She never told me she had a cousin at the airport

She never told me she had a cousin at the airport

Running Relativity – A Matter of Perspective

From primitive man to modern man, and all in between, running has been a staple in mankind’s activity since the dawn of time.

running evolution

The longest race is History

Suffice to say, in the beginning, I did not fancy running. It was a chore, a punishment, a way for teachers to laze about in the shade as students puffed and panted up and down the track.

It was a spectacle for entire school to witness. At first my strategy was to stick to races such as the novelty/ obstacle race, shying away from the relay/ sprint races as my body at the time was not that of a runner, but rather a chubby child with a fondness for sweets and dessert as opposed to physical exertion.

The most tedious of all punishments had to be the longest race of highschool history – the 1,500M race, or as I referred to it, the death trap. You had to run around the track almost 4 times! Whenever we trained in school, I would roughly time how long it took the slowest kid before me to do it, then I’d run out of the teachers vision, sit my chubby ass down and wait before returning. Worked every time too! Until the teacher decided to follow us.

Busted.

However, at that time, the very idea of running 1,500M was ludicrous at best. Maybe for lack of trying, or maybe for comparing it to the short burst of a 100M run, I never imagined I would be in shape to run 1,500M.

Now though, I would not lace up my shoes for anything less than 10K.

Correction, I do not lace up my shoes for any run actually, as I have my running shoes pre-tied, and all I have to do is slip my feet into ’em every run. Lazy right?

On every given friday I also run from Hawally to Salmiya and back, around 22K. Lazy right?

To the eyes of a 10 year old, a distance of 1,500M was sheer madness. Not all of them, true. In relativity, it was suicide.

Now, in the eyes of 26 year old, 1,500M is no more than a warm up.

It all depends on perspective.

I jumped from 5K, to 10K, to 21 and beyond.

Have yet to do a 42.

Soon though.

Soon.

You Can

The Hidden Beauty of Karachi – Part 2: Culinary Delicacies

The culinary delicacies of Karachi are beyond what my humble fingers can explain as to what my taste buds sampled. Food so spicy I wondered if I was the only one sweating from my scalp, back of my neck and behind my ears. It got to a point where I literally had no feeling on my tongue, and yet I kept going!

The only bone I have to pick with Pakistan is the presence of bone shards in such items as sausages (breakfast), Keema (breakfast) and Kebab’s (dinner/lunch).

Other than that, I’d give the culinary delicacies of Pakistan a 4.5/5

Pakistani food is SPICY… Plan accordingly!

The Full Details on Bungy Jump Kuwait

Date: Feb 22 – 24th.

Age: 18 – 45

Lord Aymz - Been there...

Lord Aymz – Been there…

Cost: FREE
Weight limit: less than 120KG
contact: Mohammed 94004335

Done that!

Done that!

And a vid:

Kuwait City Bus Bedlam!

This is by far one of the most aggravating occurrences in the streets of Kuwait.

Picture this; the traffic light is green, everyone is passing.

However, there is a blockage on the main road where 90% of the traffic is heading, causing a pile up in no mans land (the square area between the traffic lights).

What happens next when there is no camera at the traffic light is that everyone attempts to “run the yellowlight”, which leads to the following:

image

quickly! count the number of buses in this photo!

image

what makes it worse is that it is being done by buses, which prohibits the cars with the right of way from passing:

image

how many buses do you see in this photo?

and it just kept getting worse and worse:

image

look, theres another one on the left

like adding fuel to the fire:

image

even more appearing…

a pile up of deadlocked traffic:

image

more on the way…

image

can you even begin to understand the dynamics of the traffic lights here?

Journalistic Integrity Missing in Kuwait @alshahednews @arabtimeskuwait @josaba90

Such a sad day for journalists far and wide.

It is not an uncommon sight to find bloggers sharing and reposting similar posts, in hopes of reaching a wider audience. However, when printed media gets in on the game, and end up merely regurgitating news which, to the worst part, is completely UNTRUE, then we have a problem.

As many of you all know my friend was assaulted by 5 juvenile delinquents in the parking lot of 360 last friday, as I reported through this post.

Lo and behold the news that popped up on the Arab Times:

50 year old? Over a parking spot?

50 year old? Over a parking spot?

Not only is the story riddled with inaccuracies, it is a direct plagiarism of another FALSE report that was merely lifted from another newspaper (maybe not plagiarism as they named the source as being that newspaper).

Is journalistic integrity dead? Was it ever even living in Kuwait? Whatever happened to what we see in the movies, chasing down the scoop to ensure it is correct?

To set the record straight:

1) The woman is NOT 50 years old. Can you imagine if 5 kids beat up a 50 year old woman?!

2) The argument did NOT initiate over a parking spot – the woman in question was being a decent human being and took it upon herself to admonish a group of reckless teenage drivers, who took offense, rear ended her vehicle, and beat her up.

That is the TRUE story.

For your reading pleasure, here is the same exact text, in Arabic

نظرا لاحداث يوم الجمعة الماضيه حيث قام خمس شباب مجهولون الهويه بالاعتداء بالضرب على سيدة في موقف سيارات مجمع 360، قامت جريدة الشاهد بنشر هذه المقاله

image

بالرغم من حسن نيتهم، يرجى التكرم بقراءة الحقائق التالية

الامرأه البريطانية من اصول عربيه لا يتجاوز عمرها الثلاون عام، الا اذا كان قد حدث اكثر من اعتداء ليلة الجمعة الماضيه وحيث قام 5 شباب مجهولون بالاعتداء بالضرب على اكثر من امرأة في موقف سيارات مجمع 360 نظرا لانهم بريطانيات من اصول عربية

لم يكن سبب الاختلاف على اولوية الموقف بين المراكب، وهذا خطأ فادح في التغطيه الجورناليه. انما كان السبب الحقيقي لهذه الواقعه حين قامت المرأه الثلاثينية بتوبيخ سياره مليئه بالشباب المتهور في القيادة لأنهم كانوا على وشك الاصتدام بمركبتها، وهذا مما ادى الى تعصب الشباب حيث قاموا بملاحقه المرأه داخل موقف السيارات والاصتدام بها من خلف (بدون اتلاف ايا من المركبتين) وحين قامت المرأه بالنزول من مركبتها للتفقد من الضرر، قاموا الخمسه جميعهم بالاعتداء عليها بالضرب والسب

Kuwait @FridayMarket not safe from Spammers & Con Artists

The internet is a double edged sword.

Since the first PC went online, scammers and con artists were born.

These dredges of society prey on the weak and inexperienced, mostly on emotions, the desire to earn a quick buck.

At first I believed scammers only targeted you with ludicrous offers such as an inheritance from a long lost relative or a pot of gold over in Nigeria. Now I realize they are everywhere, and our little Kuwait is not safe.

Last week I had attempted to sell an item online. Like most people do, I went over to KuwaitFridayMarket.com.

No sooner had I posted it did I receive the following email; with the subject being the item number as on KFM:

image

The Series of Unfortunate Messages in their Entirety

His second message read as follows:

image

The tall tale

How can you tell someone is lying? Too much info, too fast. What do I care what he wants to do with it? Playing the emotion-card that’s what!

martinslampard30@,

The con, enter the “Pick up agent”

The request

As always, I was skeptic of Paypal payments, so I requested B2B.

image

Here is where it gets messy – the “Pick up Agent” – oldest trick in the book. I even asked where he worked to check his “Botability”

His responses were coming in “human-like”.

 

And now for the final touch – please transfer $500 (for an item I am selling costing #305 mind you) to the pick up agent BEFORE delivery, so that bank can transfer amount to your bank… classic.

I refused.

image

I got back to him alright…

And there you have it, even as sellers people are targeted for scams.

In my effort to sell my wares I neglected to Google phrases from his email, believing anyone wishing to BUY an item would not be a bot? I was surprised to find out that it was a scam going on for ages, same name, same M.O.

A quick search on Google confirmed my suspicions (link).

What is wrong with this world?

SMH

*sad face*

The Bystander Effect explains the Assault at 360 #FindThe5

If a woman in a crowded parking lot is assaulted by 5 men, does she need to call out for help?

And if she does, will it make a difference?

The short form answer is no.

The explanation is more morose; chivalry is dead. Men today have bigger muscles than decades ago, wear tighter, muscle-gripping clothing, but when push comes to shove they will not intervene lest they spoil their hairstyle that took them hours of blow-drying and tons of mousse to perfect.

The bystander effect explains what happened on Friday evening.

Just what exactly is the bystander effect?

To answer that question, let us ask another question: if you were to have a flat tire and need assistance, where are you more likely to receive it? On a crowded, busy road with cars zooming past every 30 seconds, or a deserted, more abandoned road with cars coming by less frequently?

The answer is surprisingly the latter. And the reason: the bystander effect.

The bystander effect took its name as a result of a mugging that turned into a murder. A woman (it is disgusting how women are always the victims here, shames me deeply) was being mugged in an alley, she screamed and screamed until people from a nearby building came to their windows and made a commotion. The mugger ran away. However, upon noticing that no one was actually making a move to assist the woman who was lying on the ground, he went back to finish the job and subsequently murder her.

It is the mentality of passersby to believe that assistance will be provided by the next person. This chain goes on and on, and in the end, no one offers a helping hand.

One would have thought that the natural response to hearing a woman crying out loud, for whatsoever reason and in whatever wording she chooses, would elicit at the very least an inquiry or a second glance.

Had these people who are condemning the victim of the assault at 360 mall to screaming obscenities taken the time out of their lives to look, actually look at what was happening, they would have seen my friend, battered, bloody, bruised, using words to fend off her attackers. As opposed to what they chose to see and move on with their important lives, a woman yelling expletives at kids.

Society has become so jaded no body bothers to ask or wonder why, as long as it does not affect them, they care not.

And that is what my friend did wrong. She chose to stand up to a group of reckless teenagers pulling stunts inside a parking lot.

Why would one take it upon themselves to straighten reckless teenagers?

To break the chain of silence, to smash the bystander effect.

If anything, at least take that as a valuable lesson from what happened.

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

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