Debunking the Myth – Real Men DO Cry

Warning: The follow post is rated ALPHA for explicit, sensitive, emotional material. There will be videos and excerpts that will make your heart melt and your tears flow, or at the very least sting your senses as they did mine. You have been warned, make sure to proceed with a box of tissues at the very least, or something to punch if you feel the need to reassert your maleness.

The time has come to dispel this false notion that has been hammered into the psyche of men since they were children; real men do not cry.

The problem is this sentence is thrown around children lavishly with no thought as to the psychological impact it can have on them growing up. It is seen as positive encouragement, with no detrimental negative effects. This is not true.

Who said men don't cry?

This false prophecy was probably originally thought up by some cold-hearted, egotistic, narcissist who was not hugged enough as a child or breastfed as an infant, the same type of individual that derives a twisted pleasure from torturing small creatures, and may or may not live in the attic/ basement.

Tears are very therapeutic; they serve to cleanse the eyes of any impurities, reduce stress hormones and contain antibodies that fight pathogenic microbes, as well as cleanse the soul/ heart of aches that cannot be seen or touched but are definitely felt,  to purge pent up emotions.

Tears can be invoked by a variety of methods; it can be a result of a movie you watch, such as the scenes below, that always serve to make my  eyes burn, my throat constrict, and my heart heavy:

The most touching scene in all of Movie History.

The Patriot, starring Mel Gibson & the late Heath Ledger. Susan does not speak to her father throughout the entire movie, and in this heart wrenching scene before he rides off to war, he begs her to speak to him.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry returns with the corpse of Cedric Diggory; a father sees the body of his son.

Boromir’s Final Stand in Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring, sacrificing himself to save the Hobbits.

Braveheart – The Death of William Wallace, defiant to the end.

Special mention goes to the Gladiator Death scene with Russel Crowe, which unfortunately I could not find an embeddable version of.

Music. Music can strum at the strings of the heart in such a way to leave you either elated or down-trodden.

Pictures can draw emotions as well:

An Eye that does not see hell is an eye that sheds a Tear in Fear of God

The caption says enough...

A malnourished, emaciated dog

Even words alone have the power to captivate emotion, as is evident by this passage, also from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, as Harry is comforted by Mrs. Weasley, who hugs him, much like a mother would hug her child, Harry having never known that feeling:

The thing against which he had been fighting on and off ever since he had come out of the maze was threatening to overpower him. He could feel a burning, prickling feeling in the inner corners of his eyes. He blinked and stared up at the ceiling.

“It wasn’t your fault. Harry,” Mrs. Weasley whispered.

“I told him to take the cup with me,” said Harry.

Now the burning feeling was in his throat too. He wished Ron would look away.

Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. His mother’s face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.


Or this excerpt, also from the Harry Potter series, book 5, The Order of The Phoenix; Harry, Ron, Hermione & Ginny bump into Neville at the Psychiatric Hospital, who was visiting his parents.

‘What’s this?’ said Mrs. Longbottom sharply. ‘Haven’t you told your friends about your parents, Neville?’

Neville took a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. Harry could not remember ever feeling sorrier for anyone, but he could not think of any way of helping Neville out of the situation.

‘Well, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!‘ said Mrs. Longbottom angrily. ‘You should be proud, Neville, proud! They didn’t give their health and their sanity so their only son would be ashamed of them, you know!’

I’m not ashamed,’ said Neville, very faintly, still looking anywhere but at Harry and the others. Ron was now standing on tiptoe to look over at the inhabitants of the two beds.

‘Well, you’ve got a funny way of showing it!’ said Mrs. Longbottom. ‘My son and his wife,’ she said, turning haughtily to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny, ‘were tortured into insanity by You-Know-Who’s followers.’

Hermione and Ginny both clapped their hands over their mouths. Ron stopped craning his neck to catch a glimpse of Neville’s parents and looked mortified.

‘They were Aurors, you know, and very well respected within the wizarding community,’ Mrs Longbottom went on. ‘Highly gifted, the pair of them. I–yes, Alice dear, what is it?’

Neville’s mother had come edging down the ward in her nightdress. She no longer had the plump, happy-looking face Harry had seen in Moody’s old photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix. Her face was thin and worn now, her eyes seemed overlarge and her hair, which had turned white, was wispy and dead-looking. She did not seem to want to speak, or perhaps she was not able to, but she made timid motions towards Neville, holding something in her outstretched hand.

‘Again?’ said Mrs Longbottom, sounding slightly weary. ‘Very well, Alice dear, very well– Neville, take it, whatever it is.’

But Neville had already stretched out his hand, into which his mother dropped an empty Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum wrapper.

‘Very nice, dear,’ said Neville’s grandmother in a falsely cheery voice, patting his mother on the shoulder.

But Neville said quietly, ‘Thanks, Mum.’

His mother tottered away, back up the ward, humming to herself. Neville looked around at the others, his expression defiant, as though daring them to laugh, but Harry did not think he’d ever found anything less funny in his life.


Tears are not defined by gender

Humans have emotions, emotions make us feel, Men are humans, hence, Men have emotions. It is a very simple equation. Any man that claims he does not cry would be suffering from psychological issues so deeply imbedded in their persona that there would be no hope for them.

A grown man is allowed to cry. A young man is allowed to cry. A Father is allowed to cry. A Son is allowed to cry.


There is no shame in it, no weakness, no embarrassment.


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