Jazeera Airways, Never a Dull Moment

One find day, I booked myself onto a Jazeera Airways flight for a change of scenery for a week.

It proved to be an eventful trip, both to and fro, earning Jazeera Airways a high spot in my list of airlines.

The last time I had travelled on Jazeera Airways, my first on the airline, I came to make a few startling discoveries. First; if you do not choose your seat (and pay 1KD for it), you will most likely end up sitting in the far back of the plane.

Second; sandstorms in Kuwait can prevent flights from landing. As my flight back from Dubai was cancelled. I was there along with 3 other friends, and we were told that there are only 2 seats on the currently available plane (also, delayed from its original time), as we fussed over who should get those 2 seats and go home on time, the seats were already given to someone else. Lesson learnt, never travel in large groups!

As for this turn around on Jazeera Airways, a most peculiar incident happened.

As I was waiting outside the gate for the “now boarding” sign to turn alight, a strange creature caught my attention. It was a woman, clearly aged, dressed as a teenager, sitting across from me, haplessly smashing away on her Blackberry.

Now, as we passed the gate into the boarding area, and this time, my shoes decided to tease the metal detector. It is as if the cop at the first metal detector lets you off, only for this one to pick you up, not to mention the bizarre bin full of contraband items snatched from unsuspecting passengers prior to boarding.

Forks, Extension cords, Cables, what else do you have in your hand held luggage?

Back to my original story; this is when we entered “The Twilight Zone” sans any sparkling, spikey-haired vampires.

I noticed that Bizarre Lady from the waiting area was now sporting a neck-brace!

Was she not just sitting, all slouched and comfortable, outside the gate? What on earth could have happened in that short span of time between passing the final metal detector and now, to injure this lady’s neck? And how on earth was she ready for the occasion with a neck-brace in tow?

Fate so had it that she was walking ahead of me, and being astute of listening, I honed in on her conversation with a guy she had met in the boarding area.

She told him that she always carries a neck-brace around, and puts it on before boarding, then complains to the stewardess that she is feeling pain, and requests to be moved to a more comfortable seat i.e. to get bumped up to business. The guy asks her if she has another neck-brace, she laughs it off.

I was so affronted and taken aback by her joking manner; feigning injury to get upgraded to business class? This woman was in a low category all on her own, in all my years of flying I had never seen such despicable tactics. Her actions are similar to those who park in the handicapped parking spots, if not worse even. Those people have no respect for anyone.

Feigning an injury to get an upgrade to Business Class is a very low and cowardly act.

Despicable.

Whilst boarding, I looked for the nearest friendly faced stewardess and informed her of our bizarre lady’s shenanigans. Think of me as an air marshal upholding the law.

Luckily, the Roman Goddess named stewardess believed me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the scene Bizarre Lady attempted to pull her “my neck hurts” routine, that she was quickly rebuffed and told that there were no seats available in business.

Score one for the law abiding, Bizarre Lady zero.

Once the plane landed, and I thanked the stewardess for her efforts, guess what? Bizarre Lady had the audacity to remove the neck-brace on the plane,  after having asked the stewardess for an upgrade and being subsequently denied, having forgotten that earlier on the flight, she had complained of pain.

Upon landing, she takes off her phoney neck-brace.

Some people have no shame.

 On the second leg of my trip, the return journey, the ride was not free of incident either. With Jazeera’s flights being rather compact, it is difficult to navigate from the window seat, so instead I always go for Aisle, it pays to select your seat on Jazeera flights, at a cost of 1KD, as more often than not you will find yourself seated near the tail of the craft.

Our tale takes place as I took my seat, with two empty chairs to my side. A stewardess asked me if I would be willing to shif to a window seat so that someone could sit together with their family and/or relatives. Given the reasoning above however, I respectfully declined.

A short while later, I was approached by another flight attendant, this one informed me that a newly we couple were sitting in the back, and they wished to give them some privacy (for what, I have no idea, or even how, what would they do for example? Canoodle?) but this offer came with a forward movement, to another aisle seat.

I agreed. It was not business class, but it was the next best thing, the seat right behind it.

Jazeera Airways, Never a Dull Moment.

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

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