Kuwait’s Guidelines for Proper Pedestrian Path Decorum

Pedestrian paths are a great gift from the country to the healthy hopefuls of Kuwait. It’s a nice expanse of tarmac, that occasionally could have plastic cardio machines littered around it, covered by trees and hopefully a water fountain somewhere in its midst.

The problem arises however when certain people abuse these prime spots for runners and sports enthusiasts.

During a 25KM run I mused about the transgressions of these horrid individuals, including, but not limited to what I am about to discuss.

Take note, these are the guidelines for maintaining proper pedestrian path decorum:

1- Toddlers on the Run way!

Thats right... They CANT run

Occasionally when I am running, as my blood is pumping and my heart is pounding, I like to close my eyes to enjoy the bliss eloquently dubbed “runner’s high”, a feeling of accomplishment. Feeling my abs tighten, my calves strengthen, basically just getting in touch with my body. Bear in mind I prefer to do most of my jogging at night, and that some pedestrian paths are improperly lit, so you can imagine my surprise when I open my eyes to suddenly find something that is knee high (EXACTLY) walking directly in front of me, a head on collision eminent.

That’s right. Parents and their little toddlers! If you are going to take your child out for a stroll, at least ensure you are keeping them SAFE! As in out of the path of runners who may or may not see the little devils before it is too late! Luckily, I seem to possess a built in radar that automatically switches on my vision when a blockade is within my path. So parents, Shape up!

2- Road Hogs

To me, running is a solo activity. I run not because I have to, but because I want to. Giving guidelines and time frames to an activity you are passionate about serves to dim that passion. So if you are out at the path with a group of friends, try to ensure you are not hogging the path by walking side-by-side and gossiping like a bunch of old ladies at the bingo table. I WILL run through you.

Like a hot knife through butter

3- The Hierarchy

At the path, there is an established order, a hierarchy if you will. Cyclists are placed at the top (although they shouldn’t be using the pedestrian path in the first place, the nerve…), runners and joggers second, strollers, walkers, trotters and crawlers third and LASTLY we have the power walkers (how I despise power walkers..).

Spin your wheels elsewhere

This means, should you be running and spot a cyclist heading at you, move out of the way, walkers and their breed stay out of runner’s path etc. Again I reiterate the fact of closed eyes whilst running, hence if you are walking in the opposite direction, move out of the way. Many a time I had to pull away at the last second because some obnoxious walker refused to give me right of way. Go waddle somewhere else, puny runner.

4- Blind Side Surprise

Just Don't Do It

When I am running, do not surprise me by coming up on my blind side and overtaking me; only I am allowed to start ficticious races within the confines of my overactive imagination with those running around me, YOU are not allowed to.

5- Power Roar

I am Runner..

If a runner yells out whilst running, do not assume it is a cry for help and do not stare at them like they committed a grave moral breach of etiquette. That guttural bellow is nothing more than a power-up to invoke the runner within in, usually uttered before or during the attempt of a sprint.

6- Smoke Somewhere Else!

Paradox?

Smokers on the pedestrian path. Paradoxical much? If you want to kill yourself, fine, but don’t tire out my already tired lungs by puffing smoke in my general direction as I swoosh past you.

7- Gassing the Nitrous

Sometimes runners want to “let loose”, toot their horn so to speak? Give out a burst of “boost”. Try to give runners the privacy and distance to do so.

See Fart Run

8- Proper Attire

If you are making a commitment to walk on the pedestrian path, at least do so in proper clothing; i.e. suit and shirt is NOT proper walking attire. Who exactly are you dressing up for? The worst part is that those formal shoes will KILL your feet, trust me.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, follow these 8 simple rules and visiting the pedestrian path will be a most pleasurable experience indeed!

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