Sauna Suit Shame at the Gym!

As always, the greatest laugh is inward, so allow me to tickle your senses by divulging a recent mishap I had at the gym, in a brand new sauna suit.

(Disclaimer: the following post may contain descriptions that could somewhat be interpreted as icky by the softer gender, caution is advised)

As you can probably surmise, I recently (i.e. last Saturday) purchased a sauna suit (it was on sale! Sportsman Salmiya – 2KD a pop) and was looking forward to trying it out at the gym.

The last time I saw a sauna suit was on a guy jogging in a parking lot (not me!), at first I thought he looked like an alien, or at least an astronaut. Then it hit me, sauna suit!

After doing my weight training and subsequently getting drenched in sweat, I thought it a good idea to don my newly purchased item before my Cardio session, which runs for about 2 hours. I hit the changing room and slipped into the ominous black top, which upon inspection, resembled a giant, black plastic rubbish bag. No worries, it would help trap body heat, causing you to perspire more apropos leading to to weight loss. Bring it on! (or so I thought)

As I stood before the fitness machine, the guy on the one next to mine inquired as to my snazzy fashion item, so again, I informed me from where and for how much. After that little chit-chat, I was ready to hit the ground running; setting the machine to Hill Climb Plus – Around the World, I start grooving to the rhythm of the music in my ears (strangely enough, as the machine proclaimed it had taken me to run in Europe, what should play in my ears except:


At first, all seemed well, my body was perspiring, I could feel it, and that egged me onward to move harder, faster.

As my arms were bent at the elbows, I felt a strange swishing sensation near my forearms. Shrugging it off, I continued my movement. The fun came next however, as I reached my hand downward toward my pocket, only to witness a river of sweat literally pouring down my hands, over my fingers, and into my pockets. The sweat was accumulating faster than I could drain it! The worst part was that the ground beneath the machine I was on now resembled the ocean bed, covered in water! Add to that, and even more to my chagrin, the person who had inquired about the sauna suit was sitting behind me on the treadmills, yes, just watching me, and laughing!

I had to “hold it in” so long as he was standing watch, in an effort to try something different, I raised my arms skyward, as if begging god for an end to my shame (you would think I could have just easily gotten off the machine, but when I set it to 1hr, its a challenge to stay on for an hour, and I am no quitter), forcing the sweat to run down my body instead of my hands.

Luckily, the man moved, and I had to survey the scene, looking right, then left, then right again like some common shop lifter afraid of getting caught, to ensure no one was paying any attention to me, before pointing my hand downward towards the floor, showering the ground with perspiration.

Now, the piece de resistance is saved for the end. As those of you who have tried sauna suits are aware, the ends are elastic to have them stick to your body, so in the beginning, I had tucked the bottom of my shirt INTO the bottom of the sauna suit top, effectively “holding back” any accumulation of perspiration. That funny feeling from my forearms returned, but this time, it was near my lower stomach. And much like the cockroach that continues to return to the beam of light despite being whacked over the head by the owners shoes previously, I again tugged at the front of my shirt to see what was the matter.

I wish I hadn’t.

My front was now completely drenched. Had it been a week ago, it would have been extremely embarrassing as I usually wore grey sweat pants to the gym (same pair from high-school, they still fit!) this time however I was wearing black.

Crisis averted.

However, the floor beneath me now looked as though it were being washed, and I quickly disembarked and headed to the changing room as soon as my time was done.

Today we try out the sauna suit once more, after making a few “tweaks” and adjustments that should prove worthwhile!

At times I am amazed by the embarrassment people are willing to put themselves through in order to stay in shape or work out, is it worth it?

Yes, it definitely is! If not for the fitness and health, then for the laughter and mirth!

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

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