Scaring the Fright Bone – guide to horror movies

It is extremely impossible to find a horror movie that truly reaches out and scares the living daylight out of you.

More often than not, slasher movies have made their unfortunate way into the “horror” genre, completely setting it askew. We are no longer terrorized by ghosts, demons or spirits of the undead, rather a macabre, disturbed individual with a penchant for sharp (or blunt) objects.

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For the past week, we (my wife and I, along with my brother and his wife) have been trying to up the adrenal high of fright night by finding movies that truly send chills down our spines. We only found two winners, and several flops when it came to so-called supernatural horrors.

We’ve come up with a quick guide for getting your scare on:

  1. more often than not, the sequel will butcher the original, regardless of whether its a prequel or a spin-off (case in point – Sinister 2).
  2. never go by ratings! we’ve been stung several times by movies that received such amazing accolades online, however failed to deliver (case in point – The House on Pine Street).
  3. The more a supernatural entity is featured, the less scary it becomes. Ghosts should only be shown sporadically, with dramatic music for maximum fear-age. Giving them more screen time diminishes the scare-factor. (Case in point – Insidious 3).
  4. never go by the description of the film! Several c-list movies, made on budgets, have amazing trailers and stunning descriptions, however they fail. Horrendously. (Insert several titles here).

If you wish to get your scream-game on, we suggest you try the following two titles:

  1. The Conjuring
  2. Grave encounters

The latter is a budget film, however delivers excellent scenes. It really made use of “found footage”, and much like Cannibal Holocaust, appears to be a film within a film, question the very reality in which it exists.

So go on, scream.

No one will hear you.

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