(some) Women at the Cinema

So there i was sitting @ the movies, getting ready to watch this movie that I should have watched last week, in Egypt, with my cousin, had he not opted to go to the wrong mall where the movie was not showing.

Anyhoo, I digress, so I’m there and I’m all set to watch a movie right? Headed over straight from work hence I’m all dressed up in my suit and tie; looking & feeling like a million bucks as Ludacris said before.

Upon handing over my K-NET to print out my ticket, I head inside to take my seat, and survey the scene. I was unable to select my seat myself, as there were no writings save the number on the chair (where do they keep the letter assigned to each row? Surely there must be something that the Ushers use for reference!)

The theater was relatively empty (albeit filling up), I politely asked the usher to show me to my seat, it was an aisle one, halfway up, just the right position so that ur head is neither tilted up nor down, nor are the edges out of view. As I was looking up, I saw a ‘family’ of 2 girls and a guy sitting to my right (girl, girl, guy from the seats straight across the aisle from me), so its:

(ME) —-AISLE—— (Girl)(Girl)(Guy)

Soon as I took my seat, i heard the femenoid (remember the term for an explanation later) to my right exclaim something that I could not catch/ decipher in a cacophonous shriek (the harpy) and then a short while later, she gets up and changes seats with the guy, putting him immediately to my right, straight across the aisle.

so now its:
(ME) —-AISLE—– (Guy)(Girl)(Girl)

my exact sentiments after the “incident”

What a way to crush my spirits lady, me thinking I’m super fly and all.

You’re so ugly you can make an onion cry!

*SIGH*

First, I wish she were good looking, then maybe I can find a way to give her an excuse (albeit a lousy, stuck up, stupid excuse) for her behavior, but alas! (hence my use of the term femenoid, get it?)

I just dont get it, I wouldn’t give her a second glance on any given day, not her specifically, but anyone in that environment; but seriously; some chicks need to get over themselves. Like waaay over themselves. I’m talking space shuttle to the top of ego-atmosphere over themselves.

PLUS, it was Vin Diesel Vs. The Rock! I don’t care if, hold on, let me check and see who’se the sexiest woman alive atm according to the polls..

Ok, too many polls, if memory serves, I think it was J-Lo this year. So, I don’t care if J-Lo were sitting across from me (it COULD happen!) I would be too transfixed with this clash of the titans that transpired during the movie!

So shall I hide my face beneath a brown paper bag henceforth, whats the dilleo?

(PS this is NOT me in a suit with a bag over my head btw!)

I mean, I’m not vain or anything, but I am not a monstrosity that has women running away in terror once they see me, so what is it? There I was sitting there under the impression I was either grotesque or emitting a foul odour of some kind.

“I just want somebody to love me”

And oh, the femenoid finished her nachos before the trailers even played, just FYI.

(who’s the monstrosity now?)

Also btw, there were women on the bachelors side too, so whats that all about?

I said it before, and I’ll say it again, this silly segregation of the seatings at the Cinema is so last century. Get with the program, and keep the seats on a first book, first served basis.

FYI to anyone who still hasn’t seen Fast 5, I suggest you do (there are a couple of deleted scenes that have ruined the movie tho [thank you very much Ministry-of-Whatever]), and to those that have already seen it, I hope you stayed until the end credits rolled, coz there was a little teaser scene at the end, setting the stage for another sequel.

Was it just me, or was Vin Diesel sporting a bit of a turkey neck in this one?

Anyhoo, there you go, an anecdote, a joke, a review and a recommendation all wrapped up in one post.

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

  • Jan
  • Feb
  • Mar
  • Apr
  • May
  • Jun
  • Jul
  • Aug
  • Sep
  • Oct
  • Nov
  • Dec
error: Sorry, Ctrl+C/V disabled; if you wish to use this content please contact us :)
%d bloggers like this: