The Internet Killed Santa

Remember the good old days before the internet, when the world had to rely on libraries and research for any and all matters to do with every day life? The internet has changed all that.

Before, you could find an article somewhere in an encyclopaedia about car sales, and extrapolate that data to somehow link it to a specific car manufacturer which you are researching (not that I ever did, it just seems like an example to use at this point in time).

To all of those who believe in Santa, please know he is alive and well, just enjoying some sun before he has to haul his ass around the world on a sleigh with no roof, at temperatures below freezing, to bring happiness and joy to the hearts of all little ones.

There is no magic left in the world. A 10-year old child can now google “Tooth-Fairy” and find out it is no more than a bard’s tale.

Remember how devastated children would be in movies when they were told that make-believe was not real? The internet can now do that in a blink of an eye.

So, let me take this moment to apologise to all future generations for the grievous error that has occured here, we knew not what we created!

It saddens me to think that children will no longer experience the joy of writing letters to Santa in Christmas, which we used to do back in school (I had a BIG list!), the school was ever so kind that they actually did put things in our stockings for us! I remember getting that bendable pencil, which at the time, rocked.

Gee, we were ignorant back then werent we?

I have however, become a skeptic. Everything I read, ever news item I am told, I have to google it to verify its authenticity.

How many have gotten emails that some guy in Indonesia with the same family name has died, and left a fortune, and they want you to claim it? Unfortunately, some people believe that!

Just like I believed Marks & Spencer wanted me to work for them for a lucrative salary.

The minute you accept, the first thing they ask you is for your bank account, and a nominal fee to start the process, stamps etc.

I have also googled queries such as “why was this guy killed off from this show?”, “what really happened after so-&-so ended?”. It is endless.

Then theres all the medical garbage out there, I am sure you are aware. This guy suffered third degree burns whilst talking on his phone as it was charging, this girl found the corpse of a mermaid at the beach, this giant cat was born near a nuclear power plant, this chick died in a restaurant when she ate shrimp then drank orange juice..

The list is endless. However, Google, in its superior intellect, directed me toward which is the fastest way to quell those crazy rumors that people want you to spread. The silly thing is people actually believe it! I’m all for their being concerned, but do not be spreading BS to people!

There are still those who believe that they can make money from nothing. They know not of money-laundering, and its implications.

I agree, not everyone will be as skeptic as me, hence they might believe that myth with the airing of the car before driving due to petroleum products releasing dangerous toxins into the air in a hot car.

Moral of the story: Question authority so as not to sound ignorant when stating a baseless fact.

And sensor all material that dispells the existence of make-believe! The Kids today need it!

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

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