“We Procreate” – An Advertising Slogan Fail

The greatest atrocity any company can commit is not paying attention to their slogan, their calling card, the phrase that can make or break them, put them on the map or obliterate them from existence.

Nonsensical, erroneous and even grammatical errors really make a difference in highlighting the professionalism of a company when advertising.

A while ago (specifically November 2011), I was attending my uncles pre-marriage bash. Long story short, it was in part hosted by the gym where he is a member, hence they had the following ad placed right smack in the middle of the celebrations:

We Don't Procrastinate, We Procreate

"We Don't Procrastinate, We Procreate", excuse me what?

“We do not procrastinate, we procreate”.. What on earth does that even MEAN? It would seem the mastermind behind this slogan simply chose it it just the fact that the two words rhyme and start with the letter “P”.

Being an astute follower of grammatical correctness, and unable to look away from the obvious disastrous message behind the erroneous slogan, I sought any who would listen as to why the phrase is nonsensical. I was lead to a monster of a human being who calls himself “Batista”, and rightfully so, over 6 feet in height, with biceps the size of my head. I had to tread carefully lest I be caught in a head lock.

I explained, in a non-hostile manner, the many ways in which the phrase was nonsensical. Procreate I informed them, was a biblical word meaning to bear children, and procrastinate was putting off today’s work. The first half of the sentence was correct, the latter part would make those linguistically savvy believe that the gym is hatching an army of muscle-bound babies from the wombs of their female clientele.

I even attempted to give them more proper slogans, the simplest being: “We Don’t Procrastinate, we Innervate” (Patent pending!)

Alas, it would seem their marketing campaign is still using that phrase.

Procreating the next generation of genetic freaks.

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