Where did the Doritos go in Kuwait?

Once upon a time, in a supermarket not far away, one could easily walk its hallowed aisles, head over to the chips section, and indulge in a bit of wanton love for the Dorito.

A little taste of heaven

Nothing compared to the rich flavor and texture of the Dorito triangle. Nor the immense satisfaction gained from licking your fingers clean after devouring a bag of these heavenly treats.

It is only when you have a craving for a particular item that you realize the conspiracy.

Doritos, for some strange reason, are now no longer available in Kuwait. At least not the regionally produced ones, the ones that were easy on the purse strings. At first we thought it was merely a coincidence, but after visiting several different hyper/super markets (Carrefour, TSC, Co-op, Gulfmart etc) we noticed a trend was developing. Doritos had fallen off the face of the earth.

Now all you can get is this:

The Foreign Doritos

Why? Dear god why?! The only plausible reason I found online was this, albeit it being an article from 2007 (link), it may be a reason behind why Doritos are no longer regionally manufactured, something to do with the porcine content of the cheese used to make the Doritos? But then, why are the foreign (i.e. more expensive) ones still sold?

Excerpt:

As all of us are so (painfully) aware, of recent there has been a flurry of e-mails in Muslim circles regarding popular products, such as Doritos, that use cheese manufactured from porcine rennet. Since these products are sprinkled with such cheese, concerned Muslims have automatically concluded that the aforementioned products must be totally harām, and thus unceremoniously boycotted.

It could just be coincidence, as the entire Kuwait populace suddenly and in unison understood the tasty wonder that is Doritos, raided all the co-ops, supermarkets and hypermarkets and left the shelves barren, like locusts.

Once upon a time, in highschool, when Doritos were first being introduced, a friend of mine had had a bag of the imported ones (spicy). I decided to brave the spices and try it out, despite his warning that “those are hot”. In macho fashion I shrugged it off saying I was raised on spicy food.

We cracked the bag open, as a an ominous cloud escaped from deep within its dark recesses. Had this been a cartoon, a scull and cross bones would have emanated from within, in green.

I took a single triangle in my fingers, analysed it thoroughly, deemed it to be harmless.

Raising the Dorito to my mouth, parting my lips to grant it entry onto my taste buds. As it got closer, I was overcome with coughs as I slowly inhaled the aura around the Dorito. I merely assumed it was allergies.

As the small triangle found its way onto my tongue, I found myself salivating, profusely, as if my body were preparing its defenses for regurgitation. Again, I decided to go on.

As I bit down into its hard crust, that is when I knew I had made a terrible mistake. My eyes watered, the coughing continued, and it felt as though a fire had erupted inside my mouth. Coughing, crying and partially drooling, I had no choice but to continue the tormenting process of finishing that single Dorito, much to my own chagrin, and the amusement of my friend who found this episode rather amusing.

The main question now is; where did all the Doritos go?

 

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