Why do some guys have to be such grade A-@$$holes?

I wasn’t really sure with the title whether to use guys in general, some guys or most guys. I went with the latter to pretend there is hope.

Read on:
Remember that post I wrote a while back about how single guys are singled out as pariahs in our society (here)?

I’m printing my fourth retraction…

Why do guys have to be such grade A-@$$holes?

It seems fitting that the final choice in men lies with women, heaven forbid it should be the other way around and a woman would be pining and bending over backwards for a guy.

I say this now because I am sick of hearing of how some guys behave. It really does reflect badly on the rest of us, and casts a black cloud of doubt and trepidation that can nay be lifted without going through labors that would make the 12 tasks of Hercules appear as simple as morning chores.

Guys are now divided into groups, the posers, the liars, the fakers, the @$$holes and the dreamers. If you end up with one of the first four, you are shit out of luck. And unfortunately, the majority of the market nowadays is compromised mainly, if not solely, of the aforementioned Big Four.

Onto a few examples:
First off, you have the kind of guy who feels when he is out with a girl that he must put down everyone else around him and degrade them to appear superior to his beau. If his beau gets off on that kind of behavior, then they are a match made in lovers hell and are fittingly deserving of one another. If however, his beau has any shred of decency, or is a level headed person, she would dump this dude like a bad habit on his rear-end.

Second, you have those that would spin a tale as tall as Burj Khalifa as to how much they make, how much they spend and overall how material they are. Again, in my books, or that of any warm blooded femme, money spent on everything else does not translate to money he will spend on you. And I know that you do not need to spend a great deal to have a great time, it all depends on the company you are with. Learn that.

Come to think of it, fakers are much like posers and liars, just probably an amalgamation of both in one ugly, compact package.

Now, the grade A sirloin, certified, 100% @$$hole, and trust me, I have heard of MANY. These are the guys who just don’t care. Lets face the facts, the sweetest thing about any relationship is always at the beginning (don’t get me wrong, it can be sweet all the time, but at first, when the “chase” is on, I believe that is the sweetest time). The initial introduction, the hesitant glances, the longing to make eye-contact, to gather every single emotion one feels and frame them into one glance.

Does that happen? No. you have guys throwing their numbers into girls cars, plastering their contact info on the back of their souped up rides in an attempt to get the girls to chase them, even blurting out the most incomprehensible and utter garbage to a person that they do not even know in the first place!

As Dylan Moran said, “WHATS WRONG WITH US?!”
Now this is a heart-felt apology, from me personally, and every other guy like me out there, to all those who have fallen prey to such vile characters.
I try to convince myself that guys are not single-minded, that they do not have naught but one goal in mind, and strive to achieve it by any means necessary, pulling as many curtains as they can, setting up an elaborate façade meant to confuse others and hide their truly nefarious purposes.
(to those wondering, I use the term nefarious purpose alot as a pun on a character from the Asterix & Obelix comics, Nefarius Purpus)
But every time I check online, every time I read the paper, I find that I am sadly, and gravely, mistaken. You have but to refer to the previous weeks antics of a man on the Gulf road, whom after several failed attempts to give a girl his number (she rejected), he proceeds to smack her atop the head with a bottle.
Its time to shape up or ship out.

August 2011 ( View complete archive page )

September 2011 ( View complete archive page )

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